On a dark and stormy night, an American, Canadian and a Jew were in a horrible car accident. All three were rushed to the hospital, though all three had died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he awoke and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and... 

One day Little Johnny walks up to his Mom and says, “Mommy, is God Black or White?” She replies, “Well, Honey, God is both Black and White.” Then he says, “Mommy, is God a boy or a girl?” “God is both a boy and a girl, Honey,” she replies. “Mommy,... 

Q: What’s wrong with lawyer jokes? A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion? A: You cry when you cut up an... 

An older blonde woman heard through a friend that taking a milk bath is good for the skin, will cure stretch marks and make her beautiful again. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk instead of the usual amount. When the milkman arrived, and read the note, he felt there must... 

One summer afternoon, Former President Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. After a long road trip, they stopped at a service station to fill up their car with gas. As it turns out, the owner of the gas station was Hillary’s old high school boyfrined.... 

It seems Mr. David Thorne didn’t have enough money to pay his overdue water bill, so he concocts a clever plan to send them a drawing of a spider instead. This is supposedly an actual email conversation with the water company. ©2008 Funny and Jokes. All Rights Reserved. . Related posts: Subscribe... 

A blind man, with a seeing eye dog at his side, walks into his local grocery store. He walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who up until this point thought he had seen it all, thinks this is quite... 

A hiker became lost and ends up spending the next three days wandering around in the woods looking for food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle perched on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins eating the bird raw. A park ranger stumbles onto the scene, finds the hiker eating the bird, and arrests... 

A foreign language teacher was explaining to her class that, unlike their English counterparts, French nouns are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like ‘chalk’ or ‘pencil,’ she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were... 

An ambitious young blonde woman, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type. She began, door to door,  canvassing a wealthy neighborhood for work. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my... 

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, John! How ya doin’?” His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh, no,” says John. “He’s on my bowling team.” When... 

These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far… NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or...